So maybe 2014 made “basic” a bad word — and Kate Moss’ in-flight outburst didn’t exactly help the cause — but there are a whole lot of basic girls doing it right, especially when it comes to travel. Just ask anyone who’s tried to fit more than three faces into frame without the extra leverage of a selfie stick. Or anyone who’s tried to endure an eight-hour flight in crunchy denim instead of the sweet thigh embrace of a Lululemon legging. And who doesn’t love a festive latte or two during a layover? Sociopaths, that’s who.
For the love of infinity tattoos and Coldplay lyrics, it’s about time we celebrated all the good they do with a few tips and tricks we’ve learned over years of traveling both with (and, at times, as) a basic girl.
Here are the travel hacks every basic girl needs to know.
The proper way to pack an Ugg boot
You know they’re so 2008, but there really isn’t a comfier way to travel than with your feet enveloped in cushiony Uggs at 30,000 feet. Plus, they’re much easier to pack than your Sorels. Carefully insert two Fall Leaves candles from Bath and Body Works into each cylindrical shaft, careful not to crush the shearling. Fasten into place with a Lululemon headband (or, a super-stretchy bandage dress in a pinch). Bonus: your feet will smell like cinnamon and cloves upon arrival.
Proper in-flight selfie stick etiquette
This is actually such a prevalent phenomenon that airlines have made specific in-flight guidelines for selfie stick use. On Singapore Airlines, you can freely snap your #ootd (which, of course, you pronounce “ooh-ted”) after the fasten seatbelt sign has been turned off. On Ryanair, they’re allowed, but have to stay safely stowed away in your carry-on. And on Air France? A firm non. Selfie sticks aren’t allowed in use on the plane at all, whether it’s on the ground or in the air. Make the best of this time by brainstorming a few captions for future regulation selfie-taking. May we suggest a Drake lyric?
The most direct route to the nearest Starbucks
Sure, you’re in a different city/country/continent and the point of being there is to experience the local culture — cafés included. But sometimes a basic girl’s gotta have her PSL, even if you don’t happen to be in one of the 50 countries that sell them and have to instruct the barista on the exact ratio of flavor-syrups-to-scalding-milk to make one (a hack you Pinned way back when, for just such emergency occasions). Use the store locator on the Starbucks site — it’s already bookmarked, isn’t it? — to pinpoint the Starbs closest to where you’re staying, and screenshot it so you don’t need to use precious data while you’re out and about.
Side note: For the more adventurous Basic, here’s a list of Starbucks menu items you can’t get in the U.S. (red bean and coffee jelly frappes! Be still my Bieb-ing heart.)
Your destination’s Brunch Bible
Brunch is at the top of any respectable basic girl’s agenda. And, if there’s anything we’ve learned while traveling, it’s that while brunch in some form is a fairly universal obsession — the customs, on the other hand, can vary depending on where you are. In Buenos Aires, portions can be half the size of the personal buffet we North American gluttons are used to—but holy dulce de leche, is it ever delicious. In Barcelona, your lazy Sunday afternoon brunch is a no-go—most restaurants close between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. In Beijing, dim sum is served not only on carts, but on conveyor belts and pre-printed on a sheet of paper, so make sure to figure out the payment protocol before digging into a basket of shaomai.
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How to know which bar will be playing Top 40
Because sometimes a basic girl just needs to dance to a little Bey with her baes. Keep an eye out for bars with names like “Cobra” or “Mansion” or “Tila Tequila,” or simply Google “bars in Berlin with photo booths.” And, if you’re stuck, ever so softly whistle the opening bars to “What Do You Mean” and wait for a Mockingjay-style echo. Shuffle in that direction as fast as your Michael Kors wedges will take you.
How to sneak in a little in-flight Bikram
So the cheapest flight you could get was scheduled right smack in the middle of your Monday-morning hot yoga sesh. But why should you have to miss out on your weekly Namasté just because you didn’t namastick around? You’re not just going to let that bendy Brittany master her half-boat before you, are you? Use the hours you have in flight to do a little seated vinyasa flow before you fall asleep. And when your seatmate tries to wake you to go to the bathroom, respond with a breathy “Shhh… I’m in corpse pose.”
Main Image: iStock.com/gruizza
